Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
