i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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