my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
