Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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