so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
