loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
