You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
