I miss vodka workout Fridays
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
