Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
