I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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