I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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