We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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