if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
