why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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