Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
