you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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