Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
