I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
