He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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