i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
