you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
