we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
