she kept yelling 'call me bella'
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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