But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Randomize
