I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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