yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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