I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
