Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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