Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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