oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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