he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
