God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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