He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
