So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
