We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
