So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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