I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
