I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
