it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
