She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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