Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
BRING THE BAGELS
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
