How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize