We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
