we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
