I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
