Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
