My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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