Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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