So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
