dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
