ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
